20.12: Fifty Shades of Grey (Book 1 of the Shades of Grey trilogy), by E.L James (iBook edition, Pub. 2012)

I first heard about this book--which is actually the first of a trilogy--when visiting my aunt in City Island. After looking into it and learning that more copies have been sold online than any previous book in such a short time, or something of the the like, I had to check it out and see just why it is so popular. Having done so, I've found it really boils down to one thing: discreet, readily-available porn for women.

Porn might be a bit strong. I suppose some would make an argument for the label of erotica instead, and I could go along with that, but I would have to draw the line at calling it a romance. It's all about the sex, with a bit of storyline thrown in between encounters. Frankly, seeing as it's in a digital format, it seems like it would be easy to package it with the appropriate pump-and-grind soundtrack for the full effect. You'd need a decent number of whip and chain sounds mixed in as well, though, as this isn't your run-of-the-mill sex. Forget the bodice-rippers of past days, featuring what the main male character would declaim as "vanilla" sex: the majority of the sex here is of the S & M variety, and even when it's not, we're told that it really should be, and eventually will be. Like the main character, we should feel a bit horrified and guilty about that fact, while also finding it pretty hot.

I'm not judgmental or squeamish about what folks do in their bedrooms--or their torture chambers, as the case may be--but I really disliked this book for a number of reasons. Sure, there is some sexy stuff in it, and it's set in the hip Pacific Northwest, and everyone is beautiful and/or rich. However, it really grates on me that the protagonist of the novel, Anastasia Steele, is pretty much an adult version of Bella from the Twilight series. Like Bella, Ana has a mother living far away with husband/boyfriend number something, a father nearby who is kind but clueless, and friends who are completely unaware of anything she does. She is also beautiful without knowing it, smart without seeming to do any schoolwork or reading, and clumsy as all get out. Throw in an emotionally unavailable, brooding vampire--oh, I mean boyfriend--and there you have it.

In addition to being disappointed that a sexy novel aimed at women has to have such a terrible female role model and relationship at the center, the quality of writing is pretty dreadful. Even the names--a dominant named Christian Grey and a (potential) sub named Anastasia Steele--are ridiculous. About a third of the way through the book I stopped reading and then forced myself to go back and finish. I didn't really care about the characters or what happened--and I certainly don't have any interest in what unfolds in books two and three--but I felt like I should finish the first book so I could lambast it a bit more knowledgeably. 

Don't take my word for it, though. In addition to its original digital format, the book has now gone into print. The fact that it's the first book to make that transition--the reverse of usual publishing formats--is likely the most interesting thing about it.